I quit smoking over 35 years ago, and I have never touched a cigarette since that time. There are millions of American's who struggle to finally quit smoking, only to start up again a few years later, which is a shame! Why would a person do this? Why would a person want to go back to putting poison back in his or her body? I've known a couple of people who have done this, and I think is a sign of weakness!

I have not written this piece, because I am a crusader or an activist for quitting smoking. If a person wants to smoke...go ahead...it's your right! But, my personal decision is that I have zero tolerance for smoking and smokers! I don't like smokers around me, and they can do their damage someplace else! Smokers know the risks of smoking, and if they die from smoking, it's their own fault!

Here in Albuquerque, New Mexico, this is where I-40 (Route 66) and I-25 (Pan American Freeway) come together, and it's called the "Big I." And, as you might imagine, it's a very busy place for traffic. About a mile north of the Big I, is an electric sign that was put up, and shows the number of deaths from smoking all year long from across the country. The numbers on the sign are large and flash on and off, and can be viewed easily. At the beginning of the year, the sign shows zero deaths from smoking, and it updated every hour, and at the end of the year, shows about 220,000 to 250,000 smoking deaths, which is astonishing to me!

A fellow employee, named Sabrina, and I worked at the same company, and one day, we were out on the patio taking a break when she said to me, "Jerry, I hate you!" It didn't take me long to do a double-take when she said that, and I asked her why she hated me! She said, "I'm 38 years old, and my face looks like a dry river bed, with wrinkles and "crows feet' all over the place, and when I smile, I have all these gouges all over my face! On the other hand, you're 50 years old, and you have NO wrinkles on your face whatsoever...no "crows feet" nothing! And, that's why I hate you."

I've been hated by many people in my lifetime, but never for not having wrinkles on my face, so this was all new to me! I knew Sabrina was only kidding, and I told her that being a heavy smoker for over 15 years, contributed to the wrinkles on her face and her appearance in general. I'm not a doctor, but we all know that smoking affects the inner body, as well as the outer body as well.

And, Sabrina was right. Without taking a trip down Ego Street, people never guess my age...they never come close! People always guess my age to be 8 to 12 years younger than I am. And, I think that's because I don't smoke and quit over 35 years ago. I jog every week, quit smoking and lost 40 pounds...but, I don't do these things to look younger, I DO THEM TO STAY HEALTHY! So, if I look younger, it's just frosting on the cake, etc. I've seen people my age, who are drinking, drugging and smoking all the time, and they look ten years OLDER than they are!

Sabrina quit smoking before I met her, and after 15 years of heavy smoking, her body has taken a first-class beating! And, little did I know, and she didn't know either that her days were numbered! Sabrina and I were just acquaintances at work, and we did not date or hang around together. But, she was such a caring person. I was going through a lot back then, and she was there for me everyday About a year later, the company closed and everybody went their own way, and I never saw Sabrina again. But, when we parted our ways, I missed her, because she was so good to me.

My parents got divorced after 48 years of marriage...she was 66 years old and he was 72 years old. My father helped to produce ten kids and he didn't care about any of us! And, us kids hated him because he was sinister and evil. One day, my mother called me and told me that my father had died, and my response was, "Who cares!" (That's how evil he was!) She told my that his name was in the obituary section of the newspaper but I really didn't care!

But, what drove me to look at the newspaper at someone I never cared about, and neither did my brothers and sisters? I went to the newspaper, and I saw his name, and read the short piece somebody wrote that were lies! And, something told me to scan down the page...something there was waiting for me...I couldn't imagine what! As I scanned down the page, I noticed a name that is not very common, and that name was "Pettis!" THAT'S SABRINA'S LAST NAME...and, a chill quickly came over me! Oh my God, could this be Sabrina? I didn't want to look! I closed the newspaper, and just sat there wondering what I should do! After a few seconds of turmoil in my head, I decided to take a look to see if that was Sabrina or not. I was going to need a little courage to do this...courage I didn't think I had!

To my horror, it WAS Sabrina! I was in shock; numb; and I didn't want to believe it! With a lump in my throat, I found out that Subrina had died! Through my glassy eyes, I tried to read the fine print in the newspaper. Everything listed in the newspaper was correct. She worked for the Sheriff's Department; she had recently got re-married; she had a fourteen year old boy...this was Sabrina, and I didn't want to believe it! I put down the newspaper and was speechless! I didn't want to believe that Sabrina was dead! But, why? How?

THERE WERE ThREE TRAGEDIES HERE...THE FIRST IS THAT SABRINA DIED; THE SECOND IS THAT SHE LEFT A HUSBAND, FAMILY AND A 14 YEAR OLD BOY BEHIND; THE THIRD IS THAT, AT 38, SHE WAS SO YOUNG...AND HAD HER WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF HER!

At the time, I didn't know if Sabrina died from an illness or an accident, so I called a mutual friend that worked with us, and she told me what happened. Sabrina caught a cold one day; the next day it turned to the flu; the next day it turned to pneumonia and the next day...SABRINA DIED! It all happened so quickly! I was astounded! FOUR DAYS!

The death certificate probably said the cause of death was "pneumonia," but in reality it was the heavy smoking she did for over 15 years. The smoking had to, at least, contribute to her death. After smoking for so many years, her body and her defenses were so weakened, that she couldn't fight back! There is NO doctor or NO medication that can save a person on this planet, without that person having the ability to fight back! Sabrina's lungs; heart; arteries; blood vessels; and everything else in her body were affected by heavy smoking, etc. It was the smoking that did her in!

For people who want to quit smoking, they have TWO gigantic tasks in front of them! First, they have to find a way to get that "mental toughness" it takes to quit smoking and quit and never start up again. Second, they have to give the body time to cleanse itself of all the pollution that the smoker has put into his or her body. The tar; nicotine; soot; chemicals and no telling what else! This is NOT going to be done overnight...it's going to take time! In Sabrina's case, I would think it would take between 5 and ten years to clean out her system, but that's only a guess on my part. So, when a person quits smoking...it's not the end, but only the beginning!

All of us get colds, the flu and so forth, and the same thing could happen to YOU (if you smoke) as happened to Sabrina during this cleaning out phase! YOU put the poisons in your body...and, YOU have to get those poisons out...and it's going to take some time! So, the earlier you get started, the better off you will be.

One day, I drove across town, and I had not seen that sign displaying the number of deaths due to smoking for a long time, so when I came upon it, I was a little surprised. But, when I saw that sign for the first time after Sabrina's death, I thought of her! And, I thought of how Sabrina had put her number on that awful sign! When I saw that sign, had a hollow feeling inside of me, and with glassy eyes, I would never drive to that part of town again. Sabrina died in 1996 and I think of her once in a while, and one thing is certain...I'll always have a place in my heart for her! She left a 14 year old behind for a stupid cigarette!